Luna Lupus: Diary #2

sexta-feira, 19 de fevereiro de 2016

Diary #2

Dear diary,

It has been very hard... I feel that no matter what I do, I always screw it up... And omg I'm so tired. I think I'm going crazy... and I'm so scared... I really feel that I'm coming at my limit you know, I hate myself so much... I hate every single part of me... I think that everyone would be happier without me, and I'm really serious... Recently I understood that I'm a weight in everyone's life... when you read the most important person of your life telling you that you are disgusting, well, I think that this is enough to put any person down... so, my ex decided to talk to me only 2 days a week, Wednesday and Saturday but nevertheless that, at this moment I guess I have my life completely fucked up.
So please, tell me what to do 'cause I know that I can't survive much more...! Omg i fucking hate myself, my life and nobody even dreams about what I really feel! When I force myself to say to myself: "You need to value yourself, you need to be strong", I remember the words that keep killing me inside, I remember that my life is upside down and then, all my strength just disappear...
And If I died?
What would she felt...? Would she be happier...? Well... I would never hurt her again.
And about my family...? They are always telling me that they have no idea what they should do with me... that I'm completly unstable and I'm always starting fights...
I feel that I don't belong anywhere... Tomorrow I have a consultation in my psychologist, and one more time I will only tell her the tip of the iceberg.

So thank you so much again... I will try to keep writing you everyday, I know I couldn't write for some days but I want you to know that I tried.

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